Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Mom Paranoia

Hi. Remember me?
I'm still me, only different.
I'm a mom, but I still don't feel right using the title. Sure, I keep a fifteen pound bundle of joy alive and well, but I always assumed moms knew everything and could handle 'it all'. As the military say... "You don't know what you don't know," but now I am well aware of a LOT of things that I didn't know. We only survived because of family, friends that are nurses (thankfully on call 24/7), and Google. Dear, sweet, Google.

That's partially why I took an unplanned blog sabbatical, and then when you throw in a PCS (military move), deciding to buy another house, a renovation, and mom paranoia I'm sure it's obvious. I guess the mom paranoia isn't necessarily obvious, but that's where I am stuck. I've always felt a freedom in sharing our life story, and even when we were told to censor ourselves because of terrorists I felt compelled to continue on living our normal life and blogging about it. Now, however, I have become very protective over Miss Charlie and her online presence. It's the real reason that I stopped blogging, and went so far as to start a private Instagram account. I know it's completely normal to share our kiddos over social media since I've been enjoying other peoples children online for years, but for some reason I've been very reserved. I figured it was better to err on the side of caution than to regret it later, so I've been waiting to see if the feeling passes. Unfortunately, it's only gotten stronger.

She's been the center of our world for almost three hundred days, and I don't even think I've posted that many pictures via Facebook and Instagram combined in nine months. But don't worry, I've probably taken 9,000 PLUS for our own enjoyment, haha. In the end, I guess that's all that matters. She is a perfectly healthy and happy baby that has turned our world upside down, and she has most definitely become my favorite photo subject. Will is still a close second (don't tell him I said that), but I just can't help documenting every adorable thing she does.

So am I crazy? Am I just being paranoid? Please tell me this is just a phase, because I think I'm ready to start blogging again. I have soooooo much to tell you all, and I need to catch up on all of your lives too! I think of you all often, and I hope I haven't missed anything too important. Let me know if I have and send me links for fun stuff I missed.


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